Andrea reflects on the topic of children and family in Tabarchino language. Unlike his parents’ generation, having children today is not something taken for granted but the result of a choice in which various factors, not only possible social pressure, play a role. With his partner, he shares the project of enlarging the family.

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ANDREA: «Having children: of course it’s not taken for granted as it was once. Probably in the past, for our parents’ generation and our grandparents’, it was taken for granted after the marriage there was immediately the project of a child and therefore to expand the family. So let’s say… I don’t think nowadays there’s this pressure to have kids. But I guess that expectations towards a newly formed family are of an immediate following step: in the sense that since you got married, you are expected to have a child.
This is our project, but no doubt there can be families who don’t have this kind of project, for career reasons, for personal reasons, some do not believe that having a child is a must. And I fully understand that. It must not be an obligation for anyone building a family to have children. Obviously, it must be part of a life project that you share with your partner. It must be a choice involving both, and it should not be influenced by society’s expectations. It must not be influenced nor from family expectations nor from the expectations of friends or people you hang out with. I think it has to be a free and conscious choice wanting to make a gesture of love and give life to a person.
I think that the relationship with my parents it was a serene relationship, in the sense that they left me great freedom of choice especially when it came to studies. Even though they had different ideas from myself, they left me free to choose. I chose to study Literature in Cagliari, with an anthropological approach and this has ensured me to be able to work about the identity of my community. It gave me useful tools to work on the identity of my community and it turned out to be fundamental for my life choices. What I do is collaborate with others because I have a business and so the support of the family is critical, because I couldn’t manage it alone. So, it’s even more important that others are around.
Children… the desire to have children is there, as I said before, clearly you do question yourself. It’s not an obvious choice. It’s not. When my wife and I share our views, we talk about it as it’s not obvious that a family is a family only because there are children. A family is also one made up of husband and wife, or life partners. A family is also a one-person household, even just one person can be considered family. Our project is to build a more articulate family, therefore with children. Then… we also exchange views on how… not being that young anymore, we also discuss on the type of education for our children. Be that as it may, the testing ground will be when they are born and it will probably be different from how we imagined it. But we’ll definitely try not to project ourselves on our children, in the sense of having a new generation with whom you share a part of your life with, but then let them free as it happened to us. For example, my wife is from Poland and she was free to choose to leave and live elsewhere, despite the strong bond with her family.»

Italiano tabarchino:

ANDREA: «U téma d’avài di figiö: oviamente u nu l’è ciü ’n argumentu scuntàu, cumme puàiva ésse in tempu. Prubabilmente, intu pasàu, pâ generasiun di nóstri genituì e di nóstri nónni, l’éa scuntàu che dóppu u matrimóniu vegnisse sübetu u prugettu de ‘n figiö e quindi d’ alargò a famiggia.
Alùa presciuin… nu créddu che â giurnò d’ancö ghe ségge presciuin in sciû fetu d’avài figiö. L’areste (u fetu), inmàginu, che e aspetative però, che gh’è versu ‘na famiggia ch’ a s’è apeña custituìa, séggian quélle pói…u pò squàixi in passu inmediatamente cunseguènte: àua ve sài mâiè e quindi aspêtémmu che ghe ségge di figiö.
Quéstu u l’è u nóstru prugettu, ma nu méttu in dübbiu che ghe ségge de famigge che nu han stu tipu de prugettu pe mutivi de cariéra, pe mutivi persunoli, insumma gh’è chi nu crédde che avài in figiö a ségge ‘na scelta ôbligò. E quéstu au cundividdu intu sensu che nu l’ha da vésse in óbligu, pe ‘na persuña che custituìsce in nùcleu familiòre, quéllu d’avài figiö.
Oviamente u l’ha da fò porte de ‘n prugettu de vitta che ti t’è cua tó cumpagna, cû tó cumpagnu, intu sensu che a l’ha da ésse ‘na scelta inansi tüttu che a cuinvólge entrambi e che a nu l’ha da vésse influensò dai aspetative da suciêtè. A nu l’ha da vésse influensò né da aspetative familiòri, né da aspetative di amixi, insumma o da persuñe che ti frequenti: créddu ch’a l’ha da ésse ‘na scelta lìbera e cunsapévule de uài fò stu gestu d’amù, de dò vitta à ‘na nöa persuña
Pensu che u rapórtu cui mé genituì u l’è stetu delungu in rapórtu inmüggiu serénu, intu sensu che m’han delungu lasciàu libertè de scelta, supratüttu pe quéllu che riguardova i stüddi. Nunustante puéggian avài avüu îdée diverse dai mé, però, m’han lasciàu lìberu de puài scélie. Mi ho sceltu de fò “Lettere” à Càggiai, indirissu antrupulógicu e quéstu u m’ha garantìu de puài travagiò inmüggiu in sce quélla ch’a l’è l’identitè da mé cumünitè e u m’ha detu di strümenti ütili pe travagiò in sce l’identitè da mé cumünitè e s’en rivelè stüddi fundamentoli pai mé scelte de vitta. Quéllu che faggu chì u l’è culaburò cun liotri (i genituì) perché mi ho in’ativitè cumerciòle pe cui u supórtu da famiggia u l’è fundamentole, perché nu puriè seguìa da sulu. Quindi l’è inmüggiu impurtante che liotri séggian prezenti.
I figiö… u dexidéu d’avài di figiö u gh’è, cumm’ho ditu primma, oviamentete ti te ‘nterüghi. A nu l’è ‘na scelta scuntò, nu l’è…Quande se cunfruntémmu cun mé mugé, ne parlémmu perché nu l’è scuntàu che ‘na famiggia a l’è famiggia sulu perché a l’ha di figiö. ‘Na famiggia a l’è anche quélla cumpósta da ‘n màiu e ‘na mugé o da duì cumpagni de vitta. ‘na famiggia a l’è anche in nùcleu (ünifamiliòre) ünipersunole, dunde, anche sulu ‘na persuña a pö vésse cunsciderò famiggia.
Però quéllu che l’è u nóstru prugettu u l’è quéllu de custruì ‘na famiggia ciü articulò, quindi cun sta figüa (du figgiu…)
Pói se cunfruntémmu anche in sce cumme. Nu avendu ciü ‘n’êtè cuscì zóna, se cunfruntémmu anche in sciû tipu de edücasiun ch’ uéscimu dò ai nóstri figiö, in sce cumme l’uéscimu impustò. Pói u bancu de pröva u sâiò quande arivian e, prubabilmente, sâiò inmüggiu diversu da cumme se l’àimu inmaginàu.
Però, següamente, serchiému de nu fò di nóstri figiö ‘na pruiesiun de niotri stéssi, intu sensu, dauvéa, de puài avài ‘na nöa generasiun cua quòle crésce e cundividde ina porte da vitta, ma pói lasciòiai veramente lìberi, cuscì cumme n’è capitàu à niotri. Prexempiu, mé mugé che a végne dâ Pulónia a l’è steta lìbera de puài scélie de spustòse, nunustante a l’ha in ligamme fórte cua só famiggia.»

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