Carolina recounts the two different pregnancy experiences she had with her two children, born seventeen years apart. Carolina says she cannot imagine herself without children, that is, alone with her partner, but reiterates her belief that motherhood should be a choice.

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CAROLINA: «My name is Carolina, I am 45 years old and live in Sardinia, on San Pietro Island in Carloforte.
I have two children, an older daughter named Lisanna who is 25 years old and a little boy, his name is Daniel and he is 8 years old.
They were born at two different times of my life: the first was born when I was 19 so I was just a child.
I got pregnant, without probably even noticing. In that moment, even though I was that young, I felt like to carry on with this pregnancy that has enriched me. When my daughter was born, and I was still a child myself, we practically grew up together. I took her everywhere with me and she was my companion when I grew up. Now we are mother and daughter, two friends, every now and then two enemies because she sometimes loses sight of what my role is and rebukes me as if she were my mother.
Instead, the boy was born precisely after 17 years. And yes, my daughter was already 17.
I changed companion and I thought that the time had come to have a second child and so I got pregnant with Daniel and when he was born…
Two completely different pregnancies. The first carefree: without even thinking I found myself pregnant, I found myself being a mom and didn’t even realize it.
While with Daniel I thought about it, it was a thoughtful choice to have a second child, I really wanted it, I wished to be a mom again, and I did it.
Now I can tell you that the experience of being a mother is something marvellous. I can’t imagine myself without children, I can’t imagine myself alone with my partner. I imagine myself with my partner and my family because, in my idea – maybe because of how I was raised – our family consists of: a couple who love each other and the children who give you so much to do but also enrich you a lot. At the same time, I also agree with women who choose not to have children because maybe in their lives they think they can choose other alternatives: pregnancy is a choice.
Becoming a mother is an important choice that changes your life.
So, when I had Lisanna I felt like an inexperienced mom, when I became Daniel’s mom, I was 37 at the time, I felt like a different mom: not inexperienced, but certainly with many more fears.
When I had my first daughter\NI was carefree for my young age,
when I had the second one instead I had so many more fears related to life, what goes on in society nowadays…
If I now ask myself: if I could go back, would I do the same thing? I think I would.
I don’t think I can imagine myself without my children even though they gave me so much to do.
When I had my daughter I had to give up so many things because – 18-19 years old – I couldn’t go to study at university. Maybe I wouldn’t have made it, maybe I wouldn’t have graduated but I could have made different choices while when you choose to become a mother everything changes. So, if I could go back, I would do the same things. And if I wonder what I would do now? At the age of 45 today I have a new partner. And who knows…maybe, maybe, I could become a mom again.»

Italiano tabarchino:

CAROLINA: «Mi me ciàmmu Carolina, ho 45 anni e vivu in Sardégna, in sce l’Uìza de San Pé à Carlufórte. Ho duì figiö: Ina figgia grande ch’a se ciàmme Lisanna e a l’ha vintisinqu’anni e in masccéttu picin ch’u se ciàmme Daniel e u l’ha ött’anni.
En nasciüi inte duì mumenti diversci da mé vitta: a primma a l’è nasciüa quand’àiva dixinöv’anni: éa ‘na figétta. Sun arestò incinta, prubabilmente sensa mancu acórzimene, però, inte quéllu mumentu, nunustante àise avüu quéll’êtè, me sun sentìa de purtò avanti quésta gravidansa ch’a m’ha arichìu.
Quande l’è nasciüu mé figgia, ch’ éa ‘na figétta anche mi, praticamente sémmu cresciüe insémme, l’ho purtò dapertüttu e a l’è steta ‘na cumpagna inta mé créscita. Àua sémmu mamma e figgia, due amighe, ógni tantu due nemighe perché fóscia lé a perde in po’ de vista quéllu che l’è u mé ruòlu e a me rimprövere cumme s’a fise lé mé mamma.
Invécce u masccéttu u l’è nasciüu precizamente dóppu dîsett’anni. Scì, mé figgia a l’àiva próppiu 17 anni.
Mi ho scangiàu cumpagnu e ho ben pensàu che l’éa arivàu u mumentu d’avài in segundu figiö e cuscì sun arestò incinta du Daniel e u l’è nasciüu.
Due gravidanse cumpletamente diverse. Üña spensierò: sensa mancu pensoghe me sun atruvò incinta, me sun atruvò à vésse mamma e nu me ne sun mancu acórta. Invécce pau Daniel g’ho pensàu, a l’è steta ‘na scelta pensò quélla d’avài in segundu figiö, l’ho próppiu sercàu, ho dexideràu de vésse turna mamma e ghe sun riuscìa.
Àua ve póssu dì che pe mi l’esperiènsa d’ésse mamma a l’è ‘na cósa meraviliùza, nu me póssum inmàginò sensa figiö, nu me ‘nmàginu sula cû mé cumpagnu. Me ‘nmàginu cû mé cumpagnu e a mé famiggia, perché, inta mé îdéa, fóscia pe cumme suncresciüa, a famiggia pe mi a l’è cumpósta da ‘na cóppia che s’ö ben e dai figiö che te dan tantu da fò, ma che t’arichìscian tantu. Però intu stéssu tempu sun anche d’acórdiu cue dónne che scélian de nu avài de figiö perché magari inta só vitta pènsan che pöan scélie otre alternative: a gravidansa a l’è ‘na scelta, diventò ‘na mamma a l’è ‘na scelta impurtante ch’a te scange a vitta.
Quindi quande ho avüu a Lisanna me sun sentìa ‘na mamma inesperta, quande sun diventò mamma du Daniel, che alùa àiva trentasett’anni, me sun sentìa ina mamma diversa: inesperta nu perché àiva zà l’esperiènsa, però següamente cun inmüggiu ciü de puìa. A mé primma figgia l’ho avüa spensierò, pe l’êtè. Quande ho avüu u segundu, invécce, àiva tante ciü puìe che sun lighè anche â vitta, quélla che se fa, â sucietè quéllu ch’a l’è àua…
Se àua me dumandu: “Se turnésse indêré, faiè a stéssa cósa?” Beh, pensu de scì. Pensu che nu me inmàginu sensa i mé figiö, anche se m’han detu tantu da fò. Quande ho avüu mé figgia, ho duvüu rinunsiò à tante cóse perché, à dîxöttu/dixinöv’anni, nu sun pusciüa anò à stüdiò à l’üniversitè.
Magari, nu ghe l’àise feta, magari nu me sâiè laureò, però àise pusciüu fò otre scelte, diverse, invécce quande ti scégli de diventò mamma, tüttu scange. Quindi, se puésse turnò indêré, fésse turna e stésse cóse e se me chiéddu: “Àua cusse ti fésci?” Àua, à l’êtè de quarantasinqu’anni, ho in nöu cumpagnu e, chisà, fóscia, magari, purìè diventò ancun mamma.»

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