Ivo, cultural operator from Sardinia, tells us in Campidanese Sardinian the reasons behind his choice of a life without children, despite being pressured from family and society. He reflects upon the absence of the term “parents” in Sardinian language.

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Ecco la trascrizione completa del video:

IVO: «Hello everyone, my name is Ivo Murgia,
I am a cultural operator, and for over 20 years I’ve been interested in the Sardinian languageand projects in Sardinian.
Mainly communication, TV and radio but also publishing and teaching, Sardinian courses.
Another part of my life involves travel literature, this time in Italian, so let’s say that with my lifestyle, raising a family would not have fit in easily.
I can decide on the spur of the moment, for example in February, to pack up and leave for a month to go to China or Asia, or India, who knows, wherever I feel like going.
So, for this lifestyle of mine, as I said before, I ended up being single, on my own, have not started a family, nor had children.
I’m fifty now and I keep living this life. My family in the beginning, mainly my mother, she would ask me now and then: “What are your intentions? What about a family and children? You are getting older, are you are not thinking about it yet?”
However, she understood that the choices I’ve done in my life they were pretty personal, because I didn’t choose to lead a life let’s say, like everyone else, conventional, therefore with a steady job, graduating, starting a family, buying a house, the car and all that stuff.
So at some point she gave up asking and realized that I had to be happy with my life, that I had to be satisfied and that I didn’t have to settle for and do what others said.
I did what I liked, what made me happy, not to please others.
So at some point my family accepted it too and now they don’t even ask me anymore.
But also my friends, actually, even the people who love you, from time to time they ask: “Why don’t you have a steady job? Why didn’t you start a family?”
Anyway, even if they love me, sometimes they don’t understand this choice to be on my own, to get up and go, to travel to the other side of the world whenever I feel like.
So they ask me questions, to understand the reason for these choices, my being single.
I tell them the same thing I told my mother, my father and my family, that I chose to live alone because I’m okay with it, it was the right choice for me, I’m not saying it’s the right choice for all.
It takes all sorts, but for me, being single is fine, being able to pack up and leave at anytime, stay away even for a month without ties with work, family and so on.
They must accept it, if they love me they have to accept this too.
Again, it was a choice that I now live well, now that I’m fifty.
Sometimes I even thought about it, at some point in my life, for the girlfriend I was with at the time, to start a family, to have a child, but most of the time she was the one who felt it strongly. I myself gave it some thought, also to make her happy.
“Maybe it’s the right time.”
But in the end it didn’t happen, or I didn’t make it happen, and it was just fine.
So, as I said, now that I’m fifty, I feel good about it.
Now I have a niece, she’s not exactly like a daughter, however, I enjoy that aspect of life through my niece.
Surely it’ different, she’s not a daughter but that aspect, if you like, is fulfilled by my niece today. Linguistically speaking though there’s an interesting aspect, in relation to the family: in Sardinian, we do not have a word for “parent”, we don’t say it, we just don’t have the term.
We say father and mother, family, cousin, brother, blood brothers, and all the other terms: daughter-in-law, son-in-law, brother-in-law, grandfather, great-grandfather… But in Sardinian we don’t have the term “parent”, we don’t say it. We use father and mother,
I don’t know why, but that’s how it is.
I think I’m done, I don’t have anything else to add.»

Sardo campidanese:

IVO: «Saludi a totus, mi nant Ivo Murgia, seu un’operadori curturali, de prus de bint’annus seu interessendimi’ de lìngua sarda e de progetus cun su sardu, comunicatzioni prus de totu, televisioni e arràdiu ma finas editoria e didàtica, cursus de sardu.
Un’atra parti de sa vida mia perou est sa literadura de viàgiu, in italianu custa borta, e duncas nareus chi, po sa manera de bivi chi tengu deu, a pesai famìllia m’est stètiu unu pagheddu malu, difìcili, poita deu potzu detzidi de unu momentu a s’atru, mancai in su mesi de friaxu, de pigai is peis e movi unu mesi in Cina o in Àsia, in Ìndia, bai circa, aundi mi ddu narat s’idea.
E duncas po custu stili de vida chi tengu, chi apu tentu, torru a nai, est capitau de essi solarinu, de essi a solu, de no pesai famìllia, de no tenni fillus.
Ormai tengu cincuant’annus e seu sighendi di aici. Sa famìllia mia a printzìpiu, màssimu mama mia, fatu fatu mi pregontàt: «It’est d’idea? De pesai famìllia, de fai fillus, ses crescendi, ses fendi a mannu e ancora nudda?»
Perou at cumprèndiu ca is scioberus chi apu fatu in sa vida mia fiant unu pagheddu personalis, poita deu no apu scioberau de fai una vida, nareus cumenti a totu is atrus, cunventzionali, e duncas cun d-unu postu fissu, si laureai, a pesai famìllia, a comporai sa domu, sa màchina e totu custas cosas.
E duncas a unu certu puntu s’est arrèndia puru de pregontai e at cumprèndiu ca sa in vida mia depemu essi cuntentu deu, depemu essi prexau deu e no depemu acuntentai is atrus e fai su chi narànt is atrus.
Deu apu fatu su chi m’est praxu a mei, su chi apu bòfiu fai deu po essi cuntentu deu, no po acuntentai is atrus.
E duncas a unu certu puntu sa famìllia puru dd’at acetau e imoi mancu mi circant prus po chistionis aici.
Ma is amigus puru, a nai sa beridadi, finas is chi ti ‘olint beni, fatu fatu pregontant: «Ma tui, ma poita no tenis unu postu fissu de traballu, ma poita no as pesau famìllia?»
Poita po issus, mancai ti ‘ollant beni, a bortas no cumprendint custus scioberus de essi a solu, de pigai, movi, andai a s’atra parti de su mundu totu cumenti mi girat e cumenti m’acucat.
E duncas pregontant, a sciri cumenti mai de custus scioberus, de essi a solu.
E deu ddis torru a nai sa pròpiu cosa chi apu nau a mama mia, a babu miu puru e a is familiaris, chi deu apu scioberau de bivi a solu poita m’andàt beni a mei, fiat unu scioberu chi fiat giustu po mei, no nau chi siat giustu po totus.
Donniunu est fatu a moda sua, ma po mei m’andàt, m’andat beni di aici, a essi a solu, a movi de una di’ a s’atra, a mi nd’aturai mancai foras unu mesi chentza de acàpius, cun traballus, famìllia e cosa di aici.
Duncas ddu depint acetai, chi mi ‘olint beni depint acetai custa cosa puru.
Torru a nai, duncas est stètiu unu scioberu chi imoi mi ddu bivu beni, imoi tengu cincuant’annus.
A bortas nci apu pentzau puru, in calancunu tretu de sa vida mia, cunfroma a sa sposa chi tenemu intzandus, de pesai famìllia, de fai unu fillu, perou su prus de is bortas nasciat de issa, de prus, e deu unu pagheddu po dd’acuntentai puru nci pentzamu:«Ma fortzis iat’essi ora puru».
Perou poi a s’acabada no est capitau, no est capitau o no dd’apu fatu capitai e est andada beni aici e duncas imoi a s’edadi mia, torru a nai, cincuant’annus, m’agatu ca stau beni aici.
Imoi tengu una neta puru, e duncas no est sa pròpiu cosa de una filla, perou cussa parti mi dda gosu cun neta mia.
Est diversu, certu, no est una filla perou cussa parti, chi ‘oleus, dda fait neta mia puru oi. Unu contu curiosu podit essi su de sa lìngua acapiau a sa famìllia: nosu in sardu no ddu teneus unu fueddu po “genitore”, no ddu naraus, pròpiu su fueddu no ddu teneus.
Naraus babu e mama, babu e mama, famìllia, fradili e sorresta, su carrali, il carnale, il fratello carnale, e totu is atrus fueddus: sa nura, su gèneru, su connau, s’ajaju, su bisaju..
Perou pròpiu custu fueddu “genitore” in sardu no ddu teneus, no ddu naraus.
Naraus su babu e sa mama, bai circa poita, no ddu sciu su poita perou aici est.
Mi parit ca apu acabau, no depu nai atra cosa.»

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